He’d thought it was going well, he really did. The conversation had been a bit stiff in the beginning, which he’d chalked up to him being rusty and his date being shy, but it had gotten smoother after a little while.

Then she had excused herself to the bathroom to freshen up her makeup while they were waiting for dessert.

That had been half an hour ago, and the ice cream had long since melted, making the now-cold pie look miserable.

 

At this point he had to face the fact that she had left.

 

Lucifer’s posture sagged, his cheek pressing against the tablecloth as he poked the pie with his fork. Why did dating have to be so hard? “Maybe she doesn’t like ducks,” he muttered to himself, staring into the soggy pie. “But who doesn’t like ducks? Everybody likes ducks, they’re adorable.”

His eyes rose as he heard a snort beside him.

 

He met the eyes of a tall blond man, part of his hair dyed pink, solid pink tattoos circling his upper arms, shiny golden piercings underneath his eyes. He was smiling, amusement making his eyes light up. Or maybe it was just the lighting.

Lucifer’s back straightened.

He was out in public so rarely he’d forgotten how to act among people. Practically lying on a restaurant table was bad manners, wasn’t it?

“What?”

The man’s lips split into a grin.

“I don’t think it was the ducks so much as it was the monologuein’.”

Lucifer’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He hadn’t even noticed. “Ah, fuck.”

“Ya really like ducks, huh?”

“Very much.”

 

Staring down at his pie, he sighed. “...Lasted longer than my last date, at least, I guess. Waste of good pie though.”

Probably. He’d never been here before, the restaurant something his date had suggested. But he assumed the pie was good, since the rest of the food had been.

“Who says ya gotta throw it out? Just get some more ice cream and you’re golden.”

Lucifer sank deeper into his seat again. “That’s just depressing.” And God knows he already had enough shit in his life to be depressed about. He’d snuck to the human world to get away from all that.

 

At the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, his eyes snapped back up. The man had sat down in the seat on the other side of the table.

Lucifer’s eyes widened.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know ‘bout you, but my mama taught me not to waste food.” At Lucifer’s incredulous stare, he continued, picking up the fork in front of him. “I’ve got some time, I’m not lettin’ ya mope right next to me. Kinda ruins the vibe.”

He turned around, waving the closest waiter over, asking for some more ice cream. Seemingly a familiar face, the waiter rolled his eyes at him, but brought them some either way, the man throwing the waiter a kiss as he left.

“Y’know, your date’s got good taste in food at least, this pie’s their best dessert.”

Lucifer fiddled with his fork, watching as the man picked up a forkful of pie, the sound he made as he ate it nearly obscene. It made Lucifer’s cheeks flush, and he cast his eyes down to his own plate.

As the taste hit his tongue, his eyes widened. Okay, he got why he made that noise now.

He heard the man giggle.

“Almost orgasmic, right?”

 

Lucifer choked, eyes tearing up as he coughed. He would have expected a comment like that from Ozzie, but from any other mouth, he was unprepared.

“E-excuse me?”

The man tapped the edge of his plate with a fingernail. “Ya heard me. Am I right?”

Lucifer’s eyes flitted through the room, but no one was paying them any mind. His eyes met the man’s. As he spoke, he felt his cheeks grow hot again.

“...Yes.”

As embarrassing as it was to admit. This place really knew how to bake a mean pie.

“Told ya.” He picked up another mouthful of pie. “I’m Angel, by the way.”

“Oh, uh. Lucifer.”

“Damn, did your parents hate you on sight or somethin’?”

Lucifer’s eyes strayed. “...Something like that.”

It wasn’t like he was going to tell him that he was the literal devil. Maybe he should have used a fake name when he decided to hide in the human world after all. Too late for that now.

 

As the man (Angel, Angel, Angel - wasn’t that a funny coincidence) kept watching him, he felt himself start to sweat. He fidgeted with his fingers, missing his claws. Human nails were too dull. Was his human disguise slipping or something?

“Is, is there something on my face?”

“Nah,” Angel popped some ice cream into his mouth, swallowing before continuing. “Just, I feel like I’ve seen ya somewhere before.”

If Lucifer had been sweating before, he felt the need to fan himself now. Were there depictions of the devil that had actually gotten it right? Angel’s family didn’t happen to be Satanists, did they? Him and Satan always got mixed up, they’d been accidentally summoned in each other’s stead several times, they’d complain about it together sometimes, driving the other Sins up the wall.

“I, I-I’ve no idea what you-”

“No, I’m serious, ya ever been to the strip club like three blocks south’a here? Or Roosevelt Avenue?”

“...Route 69?”

“Yes! That one!” Angel enthusiastically slammed his palm against the table, ignoring all the looks it drew toward them. “That’s where I know ya from!”

 

Lucifer couldn’t keep himself from visibly relaxing. Angel had just seen him when he had first gotten to the human world, that specific strip club one of Ozzie’s succubi’s playgrounds. About half the staff there had to be secretly working for Ozzie.

“Wait,” he squinted up at Angel. “Does that mean you’re…”

“A workin’ girl? Ya know it, baby. I’m off the clock right now though, you’re gettin’ aaaaall this for free.”

As Angel gestured along his body, Lucifer couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

“Oh?” Angel leaned forward in his seat. “Finally got ya to laugh, huh? Seems like I still got it.”

“Got what?”

“The skills to make cute little sadsacks smile.”

“I- I’m-” Wait. Was he flirting with him?

 

Lucifer’s cheeks grew hot. He was glad his human disguise made his blush seem red, otherwise he knew he would have been glowing.

As Angel spoke, he could hear the grin in his voice. “Did the penny drop?”

Hiding his face behind his napkin, he could hear Angel’s laugh.

“Took ya long enough.”

Lucifer peeked at him from behind his napkin. Angel looked endlessly smug.

“Is, is this a date?”

“Was when ya first came in here, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, but not with you!”

“Eh, don’t sweat the small stuff, small stuff.”

Lucifer struggled not to pout. “Hey. I’m big where it matters.”

Angel’s grin grew. “Oh really? Prove it.”

“I’m not gonna- wait, are you messing with me?”

“Maybe a lil’ bit.” Finished with his pie, Angel rested his chin on top of his braided fingers. “But I wouldn’t say no if ya did wanna show me.”

Lucifer lowered his napkin back to the table, looking anywhere but at Angel as he felt his cheeks burn.

“Let’s… see where the night takes us, first.”

“I think I can work with that.”

 

As he met Angel’s eye again, he felt his heart skip a beat.

Oh, with a smile like that, Lucifer knew that humanity would surely be yet another end of him one day.

But maybe he was a little bit okay with that.

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